Today I lost my grandmother.

She was the person I looked most forward to sharing the news of my pregnancy with and I know she was looking forward to getting to know her great-grandchild.

Since becoming pregnant I have thought a lot about the people who have shaped who I am and the relationships I have with my family. I have wondered how she made it work, staying connected to us in Vermont while living in California. There were many trips across the country to see each other. Many years she celebrated Christmas at our house and in the summer we would spend weeks at her house in California. Those summers still involved chores and bed times but the days were filled with swimming in her pool, card games and watching game shows. I never imagined there was anything better to do on summer vacation.

Thirty years ago she drove her motorhome to Vermont in June and we then drove with her back across the country. On that trip I learned how to read a map and for the first time had my own camera. I still have a bunch very blurry photographs from that trip and a memory of dropping my camera at the Grand Canyon, exposing the film.

In a time before Skype and cheap long distance phone calls she recorded stories for us. We would get a cassette and a Golden Book in the mail so we could enjoy a bedtime story from our Grandma in California anytime we wanted. One year for Christmas she made us a deal, if we could save enough quarters to fill a booklet she would double our savings and take us shopping to buy anything we wanted with that money. I remember I got a baby Pound Puppy.

She taught me to knit and play card games. When I visited her she took me to her Tuesday ladies lunches, brought me along when she volunteered at the Red Cross and let me join in with her friends in a game of cards. I learned from her the wisdom is keeping a book in your car in case you are stuck waiting somewhere. I am pretty sure that my love of puzzles comes from getting a new one each year for Christmas. When I was old enough for a real bed I found strawberry shortcake sheets waiting for me at her house. She and my grandfather bought me my first doll and my favorite pajamas when a was in grade school.

She told me about walking across the Golden Gate Bridge the day it opened and when Chris and I visited a few years back she shared stories of growing up in the Bay Area. I am thankful that Chris had the opportunity to spend time with her. She taught him how to play Hand and Foot, and he questioned some of the slightly weird sayings that are part of my family.

She will be greatly missed, and I only hope that my child will have as many happy memories of there grandparents as to do.